Move on

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Macam mana kau nak move on kalau kau masih ambil tahu pasal dia? Masih stalker ig, facebook and twitter dia. Macam mana? Engkau ingat engkau tabah sangat nak redah macam tu je? Sakit bebb. Sakit dalam hati ni. Aku cuba sabar, cuba belagak tabah. Tapi...... kadang kadang aku rapuh. Tu yang jadi tak tentu arah stalk orang tak sepatutnya. 

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Aku perati dia. Aku perati life dia lepas tanpa aku. Nampak okay okay saja, tenang, gembira. Tapi aku? hmmmmm. Kuatlah wahai hati, sampai bila mahu menyiksa diri, move on lah bertapak tapak lagi. Kau bukan kepentingan dia lagi. Sedarlah sedarlah ! *tampar pipi sekuat hati*

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Allah... Kuatkanlah hati ini. Tolonglah jauhkan aku dari kekecewaan hati lagi. Dan janganlah uji aku lagi dengan dugaan terhadap lelaki. Mohon Allah. Aku belum sedia untuk sesuatu yang aku tak pasti. dan tidak jelas bila waktunya. Biarlah begini bersama keluarga, dan kawan kawan. CUKUP ! Aku penat dan tak kuat. Still under recovery. Hopefully everything gonna be fine like normal. 

Move on lah seorang diyana dan keluarlah dari kehidupan dia .

I lost him.

"The memory is tearing me apart"

I miss him. I miss the way i talk to him about everything. I miss the way 'we' spend the time together. We share the story, we laugh, we cry, we solve everything. But now, i have no choice. Everything happen too fast. And now i'm alone to recovering my bleeding.

"I was quiet but i wasn't blind"

Even 'we' are not contact now, doesn't mean i didn't get know what you do, what you feel, everything. I'll keep stalking you on your twitter, whatsapp, facebook, instagram, everything. But everytime i stare on your page, my heart was sick. I'm sick. I'm sick when we are no talking anymore. Are we too "egois"? Keep the words inside even know the thing is hurt. So hurt. Have you feel the same? Or just me feel the hurt inside? I know, you fine there, you happy, you have continue your life, while i'm here trying to recovering every single hurt. 

"I don't like to talk about what hurt"

I'm dying. Day by day i try to move, to step forward without you anymore. The memory between us killing me deep inside. I'm not stronger enough. But i'll try. I pretend i'm happy when i with my friends, but sometimes the tears fall down. I've shared what i feel to my friends, azreeda. Only she can understand me, the one i think i can talk to, i tell her every single story about us, about your exgirlfie, about everything. I wanna cry, but i force the tears to not fall when i'm with her. I don't want anyone know what i'm truely feel inside. 

"Somedays i just don't want to talk"

What i've go through is something hard to me. Not to give my trust to any guy anymore. Coz to me, they just the same. Keep hurting, keep playing, keep leaving after give the hoping. I'm hurt. So hurt. I wish i can be the stronger one like before. Not to love any guy anymore. I'm sorry for rejected to those who are trying to geting me. I'm sorry, i just need some space to be alone. 

The thing that i've to believe now, you already leave me. You have your own life. And i'm not your part of life anymore. 

"I lost Him. The End."